Santa will slay you
Author: Steve Tilley
Date: Feb 18, 2004
Source: www.canoe.ca
You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better
not pout ... or Santa might carve a jagged hole in your
intestines with a rusty chainsaw. And you thought getting
coal in your stocking sucked. While Christmas is now just
a dull memory and a crushing credit-card debt for most of
us, Hollywood is currently recreating the yule season in
Edmonton for Santa's Slay, a horror-comedy starring WWE
wrestler Bill Goldberg as a homicidal St. Nick.
Cameras began rolling this week on the $4-million independent
film, which will be shooting on location in and around Edmonton
for the next two months. No release date has been set.
Written and directed by feature film first-timer David
Steiman and produced by Hollywood heavyweight Brett Ratner
(director of the Rush Hour series), Santa's Slay imagines
Kris Kringle as the son of Satan, who has only been bringing
toys to good little girls and boys for the last 1,000 years
because he lost a bet with an angel. Geez, and to think
we left out milk and cookies for this guy.
But now the truce between good and evil has expired and
Santa is free to unleash his pent-up frustrations on an
unsuspecting world, beginning with the appropriately named
small town of Hell, U.S.A.
The musclebound Goldberg, a veteran of the squared circle
who made his recent big-screen debut in Looney Tunes: Back
in Action, plays the killer Santa. Standing in his way is
teenaged Nicholas Yuleson (Douglas Smith), who learns from
his grandpa (Robert Culp) that Santa isn't really so jolly
after all. Joined by Nicholas's gal-pal Mac (Roswell's Emilie
de Ravin), they must to try to survive Santa's Christmas
Eve of destruction and restore peace on earth and goodwill
towards men for another millennium.
Some famous Canuck faces also star in the film, including
SCTV alumnus Dave Thomas and Frasier's Saul Rubinek. Even
some local thespians are getting in on the action - Atomic
Improv's Donovan Workun and local improv actor Kevin Gillese
are said to have signed on for small roles.
But fearing spontaneous outbreaks of Goldberg-mania, Santa's
Slay production staff were keeping mum yesterday on the
locations where the film will be shooting, and wouldn't
even confirm that Goldberg is indeed in town. Stalk him
at your own peril.
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